Day Two (68.2 miles, 74.1 total): How Overconfidence Kills...

6:00AM The alarm of my phone is screaming at me to peel myself off the floor. Ella starts climbing all over me like some sort of jungle gym so I will take her outside. It's an overcast morning but thankfully doesn't look like rain. I go back in and  put away what little I took out of my packs. Joel is already up and making coffee. I decide to boil some water for my breakfast. Two packs of oatmeal and a cup of joe. The breakfast of champions. Joel and I compare the maps and GPS before we head off. The topo maps show 5 decent sized climbs but a fair amount of coasting as well. Off we go, into the ramble of hillbilly hell and Trailer parks 'R Us. Kentucky is a beautiful state don't get me wrong, but it fills every single stereotype of redneck hillbilly white trash you can think of, at least in this area of the state. If you don't see an emaciated dog on a chain and confederate flag every 50 yards, you're obviously not in Kentucky.

Joel and I lock up the church and begin the days ride. No more than 30 minutes into the ride, I am attacked by a pack of trailer dogs. These animals look like they haven't been fed in days, ears flat on their head, teeth barred and no chance of stopping their advance. Three dogs chase me through 3 trailer yards before the big one decides to lunge. I am ready for him and spray him right in the eyes with pepper spray. He drops back confused and irritated, thankfully the other two drop back as well. I keep on riding through "Deliverance" country with no twang of banjo music yet... Finally I reach my first big hill. I climb and climb and climb....

By the time I reach the top I feel like my lungs are going to explode and my legs melt off. Ella looks at me annoyed from the shaking of my struggling up the hill. I let her out to stretch and then get ready to bomb the backside of the mountain. We start flying, cruising around each corner and tearing up the asphalt. It's a great feeling, like nothing in the world could stop you, worth every grueling moment of the uphill. Joel catches up with me at the bottom and we take another look at the map. We memorize each route to turn at and head off again. At last we reach a check point on the GPS before the next big climb. Some podunk little town I don't remember the name of at the moment. I refill my water bottles and down some energy chews. And we're off!

Joel is a much better hill climber than I am and he is soon out of sight. I slowly begin urging myself up the narrow winding gap. About 45 minutes of climbing later, I finally reach the top and Joel is on a business call. He works on the road. He gets done and we start jammin' down the hill. A car comes flying up on my ass and won't go around. I can see him in my mirror and wave him around. He gets closer to my tail. WTF?! I can't slow down on a hill of this magnitude and there is plenty of room for this ass-hat to go around me. If I crash, Ella and I are going to be little smears in the asphalt. I come to a bend in the road where it opens up into, yet again, another trailer park! This dude finally decides to go around me, but of course he would get really close to my side first.

Once at the bottom of the mountain, I have enough speed to cruise for a few miles at a pretty quick pace. Joel and I come to a bridge and take a break for a minute to stretch our legs and nom on some snacks. Ella is more than happy to get some time out of the basket! While I'm off the bike, I go ahead and give it a once over. Suprise, Suprise! Both of my toe straps have broken off. I quickly put a few screws in them and I'm ready for another big climb. The map shows the next climb isn't as long as the first two! Woo! A break! In a good mood to champ a quick hill, I head off down the twisty road of  Kentucky. I spoke too soon... the hill is twice as steep as the other two. I make it as far as I can before I'm off and pushing 80lbs of bike up a hill in 88 degree bright and sunny weather. I feel like I'm baking under the afternoon sun. I knew I should have listened to my mom. I can feel my skin starting to crisp with the lack of sunscreen. Hell, all you need now is 11 herbs and spices and I'm a meal for the vultures. At last! The end is in sight! Once at the top, I down about a gallon of water. Ella laps up some water and I pour the rest on her head before we head on down the hill. Coasting feels great after a brutal climb under the direct sun. I feel like I could conquer the world.

I have another 9 miles of rolling hills before my next big climb. Cruising through, of course, more trailer parks, I notice a big pure white pit bull in a yard. It growls and starts barking. It jumps up, and to my relief its on a thick chain. Unfortunately, it's those kind of people that give pit bulls a bad name. There are plenty of sweet pit bulls in the world. About a quarter of a mile later, another dog comes flying down a hill at me. Full speed this dog is determined to run me down. I am pedaling as fast as my legs can take me but the gear weighs me down to much to outrun him. The dog is about 65 pounds, a German Shepherd mix by the looks of him. I have no other option, I grab my spray can and slow down enough so I have control of the blast. He comes up on my right side and lunges for my calf. Spray! I get him right in the face and he immediately drops back and quits his chase. When I started I didn't think I would actually ever have to use it and now I used it twice in one day.

The second to last hill comes up and I break to refill my water and grab a quick energy bar. I hop on and begin my charge. I make it about three quarters of the way up before my left leg spasms. I jump off and stretch it out, this is no time to stop. With determination and a cold shower in mind, I haul my bike up the mountain. Hell yeah! Only one more to go before my destination! Ella yips at me and I let her out for a minute to do her business and get some water. She jumps up and lets me know shes ready to go. We bomb the slope and enjoy every moment of the cool air rushing by. The miles before the last big climb end up being a constant gradual incline. I pass more trailers and a few schools. I see plenty of elementary and middle schools but didn't see a single high school in Hicksville Kentucky.

Tired and sunburned I push on up the last hill. I reach a traffic stop in the middle of a hill which lasts about twenty minutes. AP was doing some work on a downed powerline. By the time I get through, I've been standing too much to start pedal on the hill again. I push on knowing that it'll be all downhill into Hazard, KY. Civilization outside of trailers is finally coming into view! Full buildings, stores, traffic lights! Its something a little less then a town! I pull into the shade of a worn old store and ask a passing woman how far away Hazard was. She told me, "Honey, you're in Hazard". All I can think is "Oh shit!" this cant be right! there is supposed to be a hotel! I asked her where the nearest hotel was and she told me it was about 5 miles away!

So I pedaled on, hungry and exhausted. Its about 5:00pm now and I've been pedaling since 7am. I make it to the end of Hazard and ask another woman where to go from there. She kindly pointed me to a FOUR LANE INTERSTATE WITH NO SHOULDER TO RIDE ON. So there I am pedaling up Highway 80 during rush hour with cars barreling past me like they are some kind of rockets. After a game of human Frogger I make it to the hotel. Which happens to be full! Just my luck! He tells me there are three more several miles away up another big-ass hill! I start up the hill, its now about 5:45pm, and a kind man asks where I'm headed and offers a ride. He just happens to be the County Jailer and lives along the TransAm route. He frequently helps cyclist who pass him by. Grateful for the help I put my bike in his truck and He drives Ella and I up the hill. This hill was ridiculous! It just kept going and going and going! I was saved from rush hour hell!

Finally at the hotel, I wait in air conditioning for a good 30 minutes. Its all good, I enjoyed the chance to catch my breath! Ella and I get in the room and put the air on full blast hoping for some snow flakes! Ella crashes on the floor, happy to be out of the sun and out of her harness. I poured some ice water in her bowl and she gulps it down like she had never had any before! I down two full bottles of water, then jump in the shower, the greatest thing ever invented. After a bit of stretching and relaxation, I get some food and another two full bottles of water. So here I am, enjoying a bit of food and writing this daily blurb about the Wild and Wonderful Kentucky! Keep reading for more adventures from me and The Cycle Shepherd!